1. The Guy who Constantly Stirs the Fire with a Stick
You could be having the most urban of bonfires, and somehow this guy still finds a 4 to 6 foot long stick. He's constantly probing the fire with this stick as if he doesn't know what else to do with his hands or as if he is genuinely concerned about the welfare of the fire and thinks that the best way to keep the fire afloat is to constantly stir the ashes beneath the flames.
2. The Funny Guy
This guy is the catalyst to bonfire conversation. He tells great stories, absorbs what could've been quiet conversation space, and makes it fun to drink around the bonfire. So what if he talks a little too much, you're drinking bud heavies and he's right there with you in booze and all the while getting more entertaining.
3. The Veteran of Bonfires
Apparently this guy has never missed a bonfire. Through verbal cues, you can approximate his bonfire tenure to the nearest 5 occurrences. He's visibly jealous of the funny guy, and can't really tell a story like he can.
4. The Dipshit
Over the course of the bonfire, it is a guarantee that he will do at least one of these 4 things: 1. Bring a conversation to a halt with something stupid that he has to say. 2. Somehow nearly extinguish a previously thriving fire. 3. Somehow nearly fall into the fire. 4. Fall into the fire.
5. The Quiet Guy that Acknowledges Everything
This guy is kind of like the stick guy from above, except he isn't really annoying at all. He hardly says anything, and just listens to everyone else talk while nodding his head and slow-roasting marshmallows.
6. The Guy that Emerges from the Darkness
Is that Val Kilmer? Damn... nope, it isn't. This is the guy that arrives two hours after the bonfire has started. He is one of the more well-liked guys in the group. How do we know this? We know this based on the reception he gets from everyone else and the fact that he emerged from the darkness instead of creepily basking in it.
7. The Guy that Stays in the Darkness
Always at the periphery of the bonfire glow, this fella never seems to ever breach the social circle of the bonfire. He just could never say the right thing, the witty thing, or anything with the right timing that would have granted him something better than outer-circle awkwardness.
8. Too Hot/Too Cold Guy
This guy is constantly shuffling his seat closer to the bonfire to only bring his seat farther away only moments later. He can never seem to find the right depth at which to spectate a bonfire. He's too hot/too cold guy!
